There are versions of ourselves that will always be in love with everyone we've ever loved.
On some level, in some dimension, there is a very tender part of us that will never fully "get over" someone with whom we've traveled to the depths of merge-y honey dripping closeness. 🍯
This is ok. We don't need to shame ourselves - or anyone we're in relationship with - for still caring about & having love for people who have been important in our lives.
If you feel like you're not "over" someone "enough" yet & you feel like you "should" be, & that as long as you're not, you won't be able to build a new relationship, or that maybe this means you should get back together with this person, this reality check is for you.
Maybe all it means you really cared about someone & that those intense feelings don't always just evaporate overnight. Maybe all it means is that on some level those feelings won't ever evaporate into nothingness. Maybe that's fine.
Maybe it just means that relationship grief is a VALID form of grief, & that the process of grieving is a continual non-linear & deeply personal process. Maybe it just means you have a big heart with a lot of capacity for love. 💗
It does not need to mean you're not available to the person you're with now, or that you're not available to meet someone new.
(And of course, it could mean you have some intentional letting go to do or that there's a connection to be re-explored. Only you know the answer to that.)
What we resist persists. There is sweet relief in loosening our clammy lil grips on trying to control how we feel or don't feel, in allowing many things to be true at once.
You don't need the gold medal for being super duper entirely complete-absense-of-feelings-can-hear-their-name-without-a-heart-cartwheel OVER people. It's ok if you still care about your exes. It's ok if your partner still cares about their exes.
Do we need to give that more power or meaning than a simple acknowledgement of the caring's existence? No I say!
✨GODAMN Isn't it relaxing to just let it be there?
Are you enjoying this free content?
Join my mailing list here to get new episodes sent straight to your inbox.
Or feel free to make a content contribution here. Your appreciation is always appreciated.